·       A long life may not be good enough; but a good life is long enough.

— Ben Franklin

·         A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

— Will Rogers

·         A fool and his money are soon elected.

— Will Rogers

·         A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

— Will Rogers

·         A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

— Will Rogers

·         A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

— Will Rogers

·         About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

— Will Rogers

·         Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

— Will Rogers

·         Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

— Will Rogers

·         All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

— Will Rogers

·         America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.

— Will Rogers

·         America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.

— Will Rogers

·         An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.

— Will Rogers

·         An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

— Will Rogers

·         An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

— Will Rogers

·         Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

— Will Rogers

·         Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.

— Will Rogers

·         Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

— Will Rogers

·         Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

— Will Rogers

·         Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.

— Will Rogers

·         Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.

— Will Rogers

·         Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

— Will Rogers

·         Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

— Will Rogers

·         Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

— Will Rogers

·         Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.

— Will Rogers

·         Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.

— Will Rogers

·         Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

— Will Rogers

·         Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

— Will Rogers

·         Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

— Will Rogers

·         Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there.

— Will Rogers

·         Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

— Will Rogers

·         Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

— Will Rogers

·         Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

— Will Rogers

·         Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.

— Will Rogers

·         Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

— Will Rogers

·         Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

— Will Rogers

·         I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

— Will Rogers

·         I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.

— Will Rogers

·         I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'

— Will Rogers

·         I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

— Will Rogers

·         I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

— Will Rogers

·         I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

— Will Rogers

·         I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

— Will Rogers

·         I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.

— Will Rogers

·         If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.

— Will Rogers

·         If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

— Will Rogers

·         If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

— Will Rogers

·         If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.

— Will Rogers

·         If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.

— Will Rogers

·         If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.

— Will Rogers

·         If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

— Will Rogers

·         If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.

— Will Rogers

·         I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

— Will Rogers

·         In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.

— Will Rogers

·         In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.

— Will Rogers

·         Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

— Will Rogers

·         It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.

— Will Rogers

·         It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

— Will Rogers

·         It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

— Will Rogers

·         It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

— Will Rogers

·         Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

— Will Rogers

·         Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.

— Will Rogers

·         Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

— Will Rogers

·         Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.

— Will Rogers

·         Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

— Will Rogers

·         Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

— Will Rogers

·         Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

— Will Rogers

·         Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

— Will Rogers

·         Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs.

— Will Rogers

·         Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.

— Will Rogers

·         On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

— Will Rogers

·         One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.

— Will Rogers

·         One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

— Will Rogers

·         Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

— Will Rogers

·         People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.

— Will Rogers

·         People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

— Will Rogers

·         People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.

— Will Rogers

·         Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

— Will Rogers

·         Politics is applesauce.

— Will Rogers

·         Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.

— Will Rogers

·         So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.

— Will Rogers

·         So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

— Will Rogers

·         Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

— Will Rogers

·         The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking.

— Will Rogers

·         The best way out of a difficulty is through it.

— Will Rogers

·         The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.

— Will Rogers

·         The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

— Will Rogers

·         The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.

— Will Rogers

·         The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

— Will Rogers

·         The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'

— Will Rogers

·         The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.

— Will Rogers

·         The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

— Will Rogers

·         The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

— Will Rogers

·         The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

— Will Rogers

·         The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

— Will Rogers

·         The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.

— Will Rogers

·         The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.

— Will Rogers

·         The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.

— Will Rogers

·         The United States never lost a war or won a conference.

— Will Rogers

·         The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.

— Will Rogers

·         There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

— Will Rogers

·         There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.

— Will Rogers

·         There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

— Will Rogers

·         There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.

— Will Rogers

·         There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

— Will Rogers

·         There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

— Will Rogers

·         Things ain't what they used to be and never were.

— Will Rogers

·         Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.

— Will Rogers

·         This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

— Will Rogers

·         This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.

— Will Rogers

·         We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

— Will Rogers

·         We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.

— Will Rogers

·         We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

— Will Rogers

·         We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.

— Will Rogers

·         What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

— Will Rogers

·         When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.

— Will Rogers

·         When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.

— Will Rogers

·         When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.

— Will Rogers

·         When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.

— Will Rogers

·         Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.

— Will Rogers

·         Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.

— Will Rogers

·         You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.

— Will Rogers

·         You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.

— Will Rogers

·         Every person you will pass on the street today is going to die. Living long enough, each will suffer the loss of friends and family. All are going to lose everything they love in this world. Why would one want to be anything but kind to them in the meantime?

— Sam Harris

·      A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      Do one thing every day that scares you.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      If someone betrays you once, it’s their fault; if they betray you twice, it’s your fault.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      What could we accomplish if we knew we could not fail?

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      Happiness is not a goal...it's a by-product of a life well lived.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      One thing life has taught me: if you are interested, you never have to look for new interests. They come to you. When you are genuinely interested in one thing, it will always lead to something else.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift would be curiosity.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do …

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn't enough to believe in it. One must work at it.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      Courage is exhilarating.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      Lest I keep my complacent way I must remember somewhere out there a person died for me today. As long as there must be war, I ask and I must answer was I worth dying for?

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·      All of life is a constant education.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

·     When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Paul Horning

·     24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
I think not".

— H. L. Mencken

·        When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.

So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven.

George Bernard Shaw

 ·        Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Benjamin Franklin